Stiff man syndrome

Beer belly is more than a folksy expression implying a life a bit too well-lived; there's a grain, and a barley, of truth to it. As men, we're genetically predisposed to store fat right in our guts, and calories from alcohol are more likely than any other type to settle there. While plenty of sworn teetotalers tote around ballooning midsections, swelling their stomachs with a diet of buffalo wings and french fries, others could plunge a tap into their abdomens and have pure golden hops drain out.

"People tend to forget about liquid calories," says Keith Ayoob, R.D., a registered dietitian and associate professor at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City. Alcohol, in particular, is one high-voltage source of calories, and other ingredients in mixed drinks can up the total, plus add fat. Give new meaning to "bellying" up to the bar by sampling our guide to watching what you drink.

BEER

140-150 calories, zero fat The habit of downing a few cold ones can come back to haunt you. Five or six beers carry as many calories as an entire meal, so drink sparingly. The calorie content of regular brews doesn't vary all that much, but a light beer can save you around 40 calories per 12 ounces compared to a dark beer.

MANHATTAN

128 calories, zero fat Made with bourbon, vermouth and bitters, the Manhattan is sewed with a maraschino cherry, but don't let that dainty garnish fool you. This Rat Pack-era classic is a man's man's drink. Order it in a martini glass (straight up) if you're solo; when you're chatting up the ladies, take it on the rocks for easy maneuverability.

SCOTCH

130 calories (80 proof) or 164 calories (100 proof), zero fat Some guys like their Scotch on the rocks for its bare-knuckled simplicity, but because what you're drinking is up to half alcohol-100-proof Scotch is 50 percent alcohol--you're getting a heavy concentration of calories. Pace yourself, and consider diluting the drink with water or club soda; you'll get more volume without any additional calorie kick.

WINE

120-150 calories, zero fat No alcoholic beverage other than beer gets downed in greater quantity than vino. A typical bottle works out to about four 6-ounce glasses; however, even proponents of the health benefits of red wine decreased risk for cancer and heart and arterial disease don't recommend consuming more than two an evening. And whether you're drinking Chateau Petrus in a French villa or Boone's Farm in an El Camino, the calories per glass are the same.

MARTINI

150 calories, zero fat Nearly everything about the martini is legendary. There's dames Bond's preference for having his "shaken, not stirred"--which, experts say, actually increases the drink's meager health benefit. A study published in the British Medical Journal reported that shaking a martini doubles its antioxidant properties. If antioxidants are your main concern, however, you should probably put down the gin bottle.

BRANDY ALEXANDER

179 calories, 2g fat This sugary potion is best saved for special occasions, say, the return of Halley's comet. The combination of brandy, creme de cacao, and either whole cream or ice cream sounds more like a Klondike bar than an aperitif. For heightened sophistication, and less fat, pass on the cream and sip a snifter of brandy.

RUM & COKE

180 calories, zero fat Mixed drinks don't get much easier than this classic, named for its own recipe. It's a familiar favorite among both the fake-ID crowd and experienced drinkers. The sweetness of the cola makes the drink go down easy, so the trick might be keeping count. If you're in the southern hemisphere, add a lime wedge and call it a Cuba Libre. Tip: Diet Coke will save you about 60 calories.

SCREWDRIVER

184 calories, zero fat Alcoholic drinks are generally devoid of nutritional value, but at least this one's got orange juice. If you're mixing screwdrivers yourself, go light on the vodka; if you prefer them at frat-hazing potency, just remember there's about five times as many calories in the Stoli as in the orange juice.

IRISH CREAM

240 calories, 10.5g fat This blend of cream and Irish whiskey often turns up as a mixer in other alcoholic drinks, but some opt for it straight or on the rocks. Just as with women, what makes an Irish cream so good is what makes it so very bad. Thanks to an abundance of calories and fat, it can seem more like a melted dessert than a liqueur.

PINA COLADA

253-347 calories, 3g-11g fat It's for the best that most guys have few opportunities to drink pina coladas--at a luau, for example. Calorically speaking, warns Ayoob, "pina coladas are one of the worst drinks." They may be made with rum and pineapple juice, but they also have a third ingredient, cream of coconut, and that's the killer. Depending on how much of that third ingredient it contains, this sweet little drink can be a Molotov cocktail of calories and saturated fat.

MARGARITA

340 calories, zero fat Some people claim that there's a woman to blame, but you know the truth: It's your own damn fault.

A trip to Margaritaville typically involves tequila (usually it's the cheap stuff that gets thrown in the blender) and a sickeningly sweet prefab syrup that's pure sugar. The end result contains the same number of calories found in a grilled chicken sandwich. On hot days, grab a Tecate (that's beer to you, gringo) instead, which has less than a third of the calories of a margarita but beats the heat just as well. And you can keep your Jimmy Buffet CD.

The Men's Fitness Fat-O-Meter is designed to show you how just a few drinks can add up to a lot of unsightly pounds. Indulging in more than two drinks a day can lead to a number of health conditions, including liver damage, increased cancer risk and "coyote-arm syndrome" (when you wake up next to someone you'd chew off your own arm to get away from.)

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