Sweet syndrome

It gives me great pleasure to report that coaches and general managers, who have mastered the art of manipulating the truth, will be lying just a little bit less this season. Some may find that disconcerting, but they'll adjust.

The NBA has terminated the injured list, if only because it has been used as little more than a holding pen for practice bodies since time immemorial and everyone was tired of inventing bogus ailments to justify the occasional roster juggle.

In its place is the inactive list, an invention that enables teams to change their rosters daily, if necessary, and allows management to keep a straight face during the process of taking a borderline player's uniform away. This, too, is necessary, if you happen to value your integrity.

As Gregg Popovich told the Rocky Mountain News last week, "A lot more people are going to go to heaven than before. Because we were lying."

Fibs were part of the deal, and the league always gave its tacit approval. A blunt New Jersey guard named Brandon Armstrong was a regular denizen of the injured list during his rookie season, 2001-02. When asked which knee contained the tendinitis that led to one of his visits to the I.L., Armstrong replied, "Not sure--they haven't told me yet."

Another regular I.L. dweller once sought permission to invent his own maladies. Mark Pope, the Nuggets' renowned 15th man last season, suggested his injury should be characterized as "chronic dandruff" or "schizophrenia"--anything but the same old tendinitis.

You generally felt sorry for these guys because they would work their tails off for three or four hours a day to stay in shape, only to be sent to the end of the bench and forced to make like Otto the Auto Pilot in Airplane as soon as the anthem was over.

One guy who wouldn't stand for it was Wesley Person. The Heat wanted to stash him on the I.L. with tendinitis last January, and he refused. With reason, too: He had no such ailment. He filed a protest and demanded to be waived or traded. The most devious part, Person recalled, was, "They called me when I was taking a nap. Once I woke up and came to my senses, I was like, 'Hold on now.' "That's where the Heat made its mistake. The team should have called him two or three times, then listed his ailment as "sleep deprivation."

Harvey Pollack, the legendary stat man for the Sixers, still annotates every injury report for every season. Invariably, he finds most common injuries and illnesses are knee (roughly 20 percent of all injuries), ankle, back, flu, foot, finger, Achilles', shoulder, groin, hamstring, wrist and quad.

The nice thing is that reporters no longer have to care. No longer do some of us have to sidle up to a suspicious stranger and ask how his glute bruise is coming along. Is there a beat writer's I.L.? There may be a need for one after such a probing question.

Anyway, no more of that. The injured list, as David Stern admitted last week, was "big fiction," and the new system is much more practical. Teams can carry 15 players on their rosters, with a maximum of 12 (minimum of eight) on the "active" list. The rest of the players go on the "inactive" list. And guys can be shuttled back and forth until 60 minutes before a game--just as in the NHL.

That means teams can tailor their rosters to suit their needs. For example, if Shaq is in the building that night, it's time to deactivate the third-string point guard and stock up on guys with overeating disorders.

A different kind of malady

For a while now, there has been something about the Pacers that everyone knew to be true, but it took Reggie Miller to apply just the right description for their syndrome, which has a curious resemblance to mental imbalance.

Not that he used that term, of course. This is what he said on TNT last week as he announced that Detroit would win the Eastern Conference: "1 want to go with stability. Until Indiana shows me they've solved their chemistry problems, you have to go with a team that doesn't argue, that gets the job done at the end of the day. Any little thing can set Indiana off."

Zing.

That assessment hurt some feelings in the organization. Although Pacers management always has been candid about its players' foibles, it seems to believe wishing them away will do the trick.

Yet the Pacers know their four best players aren't exactly models of mental toughness. You already know about Ron Artest. Stephen Jackson is the guy who turned down $10 million from San Antonio to play for $2 million in Atlanta. 'Nuff said. Jamaal Tinsley is impossible to read, even on his happy days. And though Jermaine O'Neal has a reputation as a symbol of probity, it doesn't exactly match the assessment of those around the organization who find him less of the leader than he makes himself out to be.

Say this for O'Neal, though: He's honest. "We're going to be challenged," he says. "I'm interested to see how we take to it."

Reggie already seems to have made up his mind on that one.

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speed reads

I couldn't care less if Dallas ever wins a title, but it is my earnest hope that Mark Cuban is clutching an Academy Award next March. If you've seen Good Night, and Good Luck and paid attention during the credits, you understand why.

Two third-year guys whose fourth-year options were picked up recently were Dahntay Jones (Grizzlies) and Zoran Planinic (Nets). Meanwhile, Boston's Marcus Banks was left twisting without a commitment for next year. Which only re-proves that potential is in the eye of the beholder.

I'm glad I didn't sit in on this job interview. Cavs owner Dan Gilbert was asked the other day why he hired Danny Ferry as G.M. His response: "Danny is net only smart, but people like him. He has no cooties."

INSIDE DISH

The Sunshine Boys are at it again. Red Auerbach took another shot at Phil Jackson last week--ostensibly because he's still Phil Jackson--and added he was miffed Phil didn't send him get-well wishes during his recent hospital stays. Phil replied that he had flowers sent, but a mix-up with the hospital address prevented the bouquet from arriving before Red checked out. Which is just as well, Phil figures: "They probably would have died right away when they walked into his room." * The Spurs love their new shooting coach, Chip Engelland. But it sounds as if PF Tim Duncan--world-famous free throw ne'er-do-well--isn't going to use him. Gregg Popovich is fine with that, claiming Duncan will improve "through osmosis, clairvoyance and intuition." * PF Amare Stoudemire hasn't attended a Suns game yet. He says he'll start showing up after he sheds his crutches, which could be by the end of next week. * Mike D'Antoni, reigning Coach of the Year, is expected to be named to Mike Krzyzewski's national team staff sometime this week--a wise choice, given D'Antoni's vast international experience. * PF Stromile Swift is in Houston, and PF Pau Gasol likes that arrangement. Gasol says his former Grizz teammate was too inconsistent for his taste-with "very good" streaks followed by "games where he doesn't play all-out and he's totally absent." * Contrary to widespread perception, the Nuggets weren't keen on trading Nene before he blew out his knee; G.M.s who made the perfunctory calls claim Denver officials still lie awake nights worried that C Marcus Camby might sneeze and sprain something and didn't want to deplete their frontcourt any further. * Attention, gadget freaks: A visit to the new Charlotte arena is worth the trip for the overhead scoreboard alone. The thing cost $8 million, and its four screens are 30 feet across on each side, all high-definition--the first of its kind. * The Pacers have asked for a brick from the old Charlotte Coliseum when it is demolished. The brick is for Reggie Miller, who has the building scoring record (57 points). Miller's No. 31 will be retired March 30 at Conseco Fieldhouse. * Pistons C Ben Wallace is in his contract year, and at 31 there's no guarantee the Pistons will offer him a maximum-dollar deal this summer. But for the first time last week, he stated the obvious--that he plans to finish his career in Detroit. That would leave Kings SF Peja Stojakovic and Nene (if he's healthy) as the two biggest prizes on the '06 market. * The Nets were stunned last week by the sudden resignation of Gordon Chiesa, who was hired just three months ago to be Lawrence Frank's top lieutenant. The longtime Jazz assistant is walking away from a two-year, $800,000 deal, but he's doing it for the best of reasons: His 15-year-old son, who lived his entire life in Salt Lake City, missed the only home he had known. * One year after turning down a three-year, $21 million extension offer, G/F Latrell Sprewell still is unemployed, and an Internet report that he was about to sign with Miami was strongly denied by Heat officials. Remarkably, Sprewell's agent still is employed.

Remember all those predraft whispers from scouts that labeled PF Josh Smith as a big-time talent with a bad head? Reports out Of Atlanta say he's getting out of control, barking at coaches (even cursing at assistant coach Herb Brown) and alienating everyone on the team. And, yes, it's getting worse all the time.

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