Adie syndrome

THE woman at the festivities on Glasgow Green yesterday had an unusual complaint.

She said the event was too noisy, there were too many people playing bagpipes and the park was far too busy.

The Glasgow City Council official listened politely, apologised for any inconvenience, but failed to ask the complainant the obvious question: Why had she bought a ticket and come along to the World Pipe Band Championships?

With 8000 pipers and drummers operating at full blast, the lady might have guessed there would be some noise.

With four arenas in constant use and the rest of the 230 competing bands practising in every available nook and cranny of Glasgow Green, the effect was a wall of sound even Phil Spector could never have imagined.

But even those who are not great fans of the bagpipes - and there are some - would have been impressed by the sights and sounds of the pipes in the park.

It wasn't just about the music. It was about heritage, tradition and roots.

The Scottish diaspora was represented in great numbers amid the 40,000 spectators. There were 18 bands from Canada, 10 from the USA, three from Australia and one from New Zealand. Our Irish cousins sent 50 pipe bands.

As well as those of Scottish descent, there were visitors whose only connection with Scotland is through the bagpipe. The Bagad Brieg, a pipe band from near Quimper in Brittany, stood out in a sea of kilts. They wear black trousers and misty embroidered Breton waistcoats.

Their music is authentically Scottish, with their sets including a tune called The Ewe With The Crooked Horn. Asked if he knew what the title meant, band spokesperson Stephane Riou said: "Not really but it sounds a bit like our pipe major.

"We are funny guys in our band and we take a rock'n'roll attitude."

The Bagad Brieg have been whetting an authentic Scottish thirst this week in Glasgow's Park Bar, haunt of exiled Highlanders. "Whisky is not unknown to us, particularly the lowlands single malt," added M Riou.

Also from Europe was the Lausanne Pipe Band who were visiting from Switzerland, though not to compete - they only have seven pipers and the minimum requirement is eight. Instead, the Scottish Swiss Boys, as they call themselves, wore T-shirts with their surnames prefixed by Mc.

Their spokesperson Martin McEichenberger said: "We love Scotland and the bagpipes. We are here to enjoy your interesting weather and to take lessons at the College of Piping."

As it happened, yesterday's championships coincided with the 60th anniversary of the foundation of the College of Piping.

College principal Robert Wallace spoke of its humble beginnings: "There were few facilities for learning the pipes back then when my predecessor Seamus McNeill set up the college in a dunny in Pitt Street, Glasgow.

"Within a week of the classes being set up there was a complaint from the madame of a brothel upstairs who said the noise was putting off her customers. The prejudice continues against our national instrument.

"Noise control measures about to be introduced will make it difficult for pipers to practise.

"It is bad enough that the Scottish Executive does nothing to promote piping without it introducing the kind of persecution we have not seen since the prohibitions after the Battle of Culloden."

In the tropical sunshine of Glasgow Green, the serious piping aficionados were concentrated in the main arena as 14 premier league- status bands played for the ultimate prize, the Grade One Championship.

Families and camped followers of the bands in the lower grades packed the smaller arenas cheering on their own. But for many spectators it was simply a colourful day out with a spot of shopping to be done in the tented village. There were Jimmy wigs to be bought and ashtrays decorated with a kilt showing a bare behind and the slogan: "Mind your ash."

An array of piping artifacts was also on sale, from the EZY Drone Reed to the FlexiStick blowpipe. And for those who cannot get enough of bagpipe music there was the musical clock at (pounds) 25, which plays a tune on the hour but thankfully only between noon (We're No' Awa' Tae' Bide Awa') and 11pm (My Love, She's But A Lassie Yet). There is the special treat at 4pm of a number called Paddy's Leather Breeches.

The image of bagpiping as a serious business is not borne out by the titles of many of the tunes chosen by the bands at yesterday's championships. There was, for instance, Paddy In The Sauna (presumably without his leather breeches).

And who could explain such numbers as Espresso Depresso, The Wet Naked Piper, Black Bag Syndrome, or Freeze Bitches, which sounds more like a rap tune.

Andy Renwick's Ferret is easier to understand. It's about the ferret that belongs to Andy Renwick, pipe major of the Vale of Atholl Pipe Band.

Your reporter did attempt to develop an understanding of the art of bagpiping and was engaged in a conversation with one of the judges about the qualities of intonation, integration and tonal balance which set the best of the bands apart from the rest.

But this conversation was interrupted when Mr Ian Adie, the swagmeister (a technical term for the person in charge of merchandise sales at the championships), asked: "Have you seen the Hungarian piper playing the goat?"

True enough, in the tent belonging to the National Piping Centre (not to be confused with the College of Piping; the two organisations are involved in a very Scottish schism), there was Jozsef Kozac, a member of the Budapest Duda Band.

Duda is Hungarian for bagpipes and your proper duda is made out of an entire goat. Mr Kozac has been entertaining audiences all week at the Piping Hot Festival by blowing into his goat.

The technically minded might like to know that the air is introduced into the goat not through any of its orifices but through a blowpipe stuck in its left front leg.

Grade 1 Results 1 Field Marshal Montgomery Northern Ireland 2 Simon Fraser University Canada 3 House of Edgar Shotts Scotland and Dykehead Pipe Band - Strathclyde Police Scotland 5 ScottishPower Scotland

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